Saturday 21 November 2020

When one falls

Gosh, that tumble shook me up.  The external injuries - the wrist, elbow and humongous bruise on my thigh - are practically healed but, oh boy, does my poor old body hurt.  Even my brain is suffering.  The doc thinks I have a mild concussion from the jolting as I hit the ground.  So just smile and be patient if I make even less sense than usual.  I've always thought of myself as a tough old bird but it seems I'm getting soft in my old age.

And you want to know the worst, the very, very worst  bit?  Almost overnight I've become less confident.  I've always been quite proud of being pretty fearless when it comes to facing life, I've never been concerned about living alone either here in New Zealand where there are few things to fear or when I lived alone in the bush in North Queensland where the snakes could be life threatening if you accidentally tangled with them.  If anyone has any tips on how I regain that confidence, please let me know.  I do no want to become risk averse from fear.  Neither do I want to fall again.

I was lucky this time, there was someone else around which isn't usual most of the time I am at the lodge.  I was walking and turning to wave goodbye to someone when I tripped, otherwise no-one would have known I'd fallen.  I would have been OK even if no-one had been there but it was nice to have a gentle, caring soul come to my assistance and render first aid, a trained first-aider no less.  Thank you, Nicky.

When I was living in Nth Queensland, as mentioned above, I fell off a ladder while trimming trees overhanging the driveway to the house.  I broke a couple of ribs and was so knocked about I couldn't get to my feet.  The fall happened about 4 o'clock on a Saturday and I figured if I didn't turn up for work on the Monday the boss would ask the man who lived out past my place to call in to see if I was OK.  I wouldn't starve to death in that time, it was summer so not cold at night, I was in the shade so the sun shouldn't hurt me too much, I'd survive.  It was a terrible night laying there, the night noises of creatures moving around was really scarey.  I even imagined that creepy crawlies crawled over me.  I tried over and over to crawl towards the house but just couldn't do it.  

Then luck was on my side.  The neighbour's driveway was on the other side of the trees I was trimming and they were in the habit of shutting their roadside gate.  Their house was quite some distance away.  Early Sunday morning they drove down the drive to go to church and heard me calling out when the wife got out of the car to open the gate.  The gate was about 50 metres from where I was, and if there had been traffic on the road, they would not have heard me.  Believe me, I was awfully glad to see them and didn't give a toss that I had grass and twigs in my hair, dirty clothes or anything else when they helped me into the A & E Dept at the hospital.  The lovely couple came back after their church service (and no doubt many prayers on my behalf) and took me home again after I'd been patched up.  I still have one rib that hasn't been broken at one time or another.  I guess ribs are my Achilles' heel.

I'm managing to move around enough to look after, Lexis, my 4 year old great-granddaughter for a few hours yesterday and today.  Her company does me the world of good.  Although I wasn't quite so impressed with her when I was awakened at 5 am by my alarm clock ringing - and it wasn't on my bedside table.  She loves dress ups and always chooses the same things.  First she gets my little red handbag, then she puts in it a silver sparkly necklace, a little coin purse and my little alarm clock.  She knows where to find these things, I don't have to help any more.  Then comes my blue sun hat, a yellow scarf and a pair of my shoes. 

So you know where this is going, right?  

When she tidied up she put the purse back on the stand, the alarm was wrapped in the scarf still in the purse which was zipped close and some distance from my bed.  My sleepy befuddled brain just could not figure out what that faint beeping noise was or where it was coming from.  So tidying up in future will include putting everything back to where it belongs.



12 comments:

  1. It just takes time to regain confidence. Good luck and don't give in.

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    1. One thing you can be sure of, Adrian, I will never give in.

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  2. Oh Pauline, I know exactly where you are coming from. I had a bad fall (with concussion) just over twelve months ago and it certainly knocked my confidence. I am now so careful as that was the third concussion I have had and I really don't fancy another one.
    Because of my lack of confidence and my growing wobbly balance, I have joined up with NYMBL on my phone - it is a balance improvement app being run under the aegis of ACC. I do 10 minutes of physical and mental exercises together each day, and it seems to be working for me. I think it was a trial they were running, but it may be worth while looking into.
    Cheers, Margaret

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    1. Thank you so much for that, Margaret. I've checked NYMBL out and will definitely be using it. I go to a weekly exercise class and really bombed out on the balance exercises last week.

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  3. We all have similar stories as we get older and confidence does take a knock. The story you related in the post and which I had heard over a glass of red on safari has always made me turn cold and today was no exception. You are made of stern stuff and you will recover. Kia kaha, kia maia, kia manawanui. Because you are!

    As for the incident with the alarm clock that would really send me into a complete befuddlement.

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    1. I've always struggled with patience, Graham. I even had the passing thought that I'd failed to learn it the easy way, now life is going to teach me the hard way. That's enough to get me doing a few exercises!

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  4. Oh, I was only speaking with my friend yesterday whose mother had had a fall. I told her that that once that happens, you always have that "fear of falling" that is a very real thing and you must acknowledge it and understand it and then, it might make it easier for your mind and body.
    Gee whiz, I am sure I am not being helpful at all but just know that I am thinking of you here in my little county of Georgia, USA! Take care!!

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    1. Hi Kay, I had another fall and a bad concussion about 5 years ago and that didn't dent my confidence one little bit. Perhaps it would have been better if it had. I must be a slow learner

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  5. I recognize that feeling of losing confidence after a fall. I tripped and fell outdoors a couple of years ago, I didn't really get badly hurt but got a bleeding wound close to my elbow (and a shock). Luckily I fell outside a store, and a couple in a car outside saw me, and helped me, including giving me a lift to my health care centre. Had to go back a few times to get help from a nurse to get the wound redressed as it was hard for me to see and reach myself. But the fear of falling again took a lot longer to get over. (I obviously still haven't quite forgotten, or I would not be writing this.) I'd say it takes a combination of time and determination but also being careful.

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    1. Hi Monica, I think it must be the way we are wired, a fear response must kick in to save ourselves from further harm. I hope that's all it is.

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  6. Yep, i've fallen, too, and now i do balance exercises. It helps, as does minding your step a bit more closely.

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    1. You're right, mimi, if I'd been watching where I was stepping instead of waving goodbye it would never have happened.

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