It's time

I can easily survive in my Covid lockdown isolation but just today started feeling the total isolation from all my usual activities.  I haven't visited other blogs or felt much interest in life in general since little baby Mason died.  Such a tiny wee child, he had a huge impact on so many of us.

But before I allow myself to slip into a quagmire of self pity, I'm putting on my Big Girl panties, squaring my shoulders and vowing to do better.

I had to go into town to collect my prescription from the chemist a few days ago and stopped at the lookout on the way home to remind myself that I still live in a beautiful world.

I'm looking forward to a good catch up.

To my fellow Kiwis, I hope you are coping well in Lockdown.  

Little Warrior

Thank you to my dear blogging friends who left kind and comforting comments on my last post.

Little baby Mason was diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS) intra utero. This is a severe heart defect, where the left side of the heart does not develop and therefore function correctly. Mason's mitral valve is completely closing as a result, preventing his blood supply through his heart.  Mason was also diagnosed with other cardiac abnormalities such as arch hypoplasia and aortic atresia.

Throughout Mason's development in the womb, his mother, my grand-daughter, Krystal had been meeting with a paediatric cardiologist and other specialists to plan many extensive surgeries over the course of a few years to correct these abnormalities, once Mason was born (due 27th September, 2021)

Unfortunately, Mason decided to arrive on the 25th July. Krystal had been transferred from our local hospital to Auckland City Hospital the day before. She dropped her 4 year old daughter, Lexis off to me on her way to hospital and she stayed with me until Krystal and baby Mason returned to Whangarei Hospital. She was a wonderful distraction but oh, how tiring!

The family had to accept that surgery was no longer an option for Mason due to his extreme prematurity and undeveloped organs. A decision was made to transfer Mason back to Whangarei, to the Special Care Baby Unit via the rescue helicopter, for palliative and end of life care.  

Little Mason has surprised everyone by surviving to this point, 12 days now since his medical equipment was discontinued.

Krystal has taken him home, something she never thought she would be able to do. Every day with him is another blessing. When they first turned off the machines we were told it could be hours before he passed away, then 2 days, then possibly two weeks. He continues to march to the beat of his own drum (or heart).

It's hard to describe how tiny he is, how absolutely beautifully perfect he looks on the outside. Just 3lbs 1oz at birth, his little head is about the size of a medium sized orange. 

Lexis is just the best big sister, so gentle and caring.  I often have to look away when I see her holding him and giving him gentle fairy kisses.