My Gran didn't swear, not out loud anyway. But she frequently used "blanky" or "blimmen". Not that "bloody" was ever considered a serious swear word in my youth, it was a very common part of Australian speech, the great Australian adjective. Gran didn't use it though. I remember once when she was chasing "those blanky chooks" out of her garden, I said to her she didn't fool me, I knew she was really swearing inside her head. She grinned and said, "But not in front of you grandchildren." Ever since I've tried to imagine her having a good old swear at something. If anything it would be the crows. They really tormented her when they went after her figs. But nothing happens, Gran swearing is beyond my imagination.
I guess it's not surprising that when my chooks are annoying me they become those blanky chooks (Aussie and Kiwi slang for chicken). Every day I do a chook head count. Every day there are two missing. Every day I go on a hunt looking for nests. I've found two abandoned nests, one had obviously been attacked by something the chook did not want to hang around and encounter again . The eggs were nearly ready to hatch, too. Poor little mother, I think she has gone off the cluck (doubt if that is the correct expression). I know where the black one in the middle is sitting but she's only half hearted in her cluckiness and comes running the minute I lift the lid off the feed bin. It will be interesting to see if her eggs hatch with such slack broodiness. I know the general area where one of the missing is sitting but the other is a complete mystery. I'm sure I would have smelt her by now if she is dead.
Got to love being retired and having such weighty issues upon which to ponder.