Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Another malaise and red + white

I thought perhaps I'm allergic to June but no, the other malaise I remember was in May, 2009.  When I first started this blog I wrote a lot more than I do now.  Back in '09 I knew I was in a strange place when I didn't feel like wiriting.  These days it's taking photos that is usually a daily urge.  This time it's a bit of a on/off thing.  One day I feel almost my old self, the next I'd tired and can't be bothered with anything.
I suppose we can all, from time to time, be gripped by moods that are vastly different from our usual mien. A little random gene that manages to fight its way past all the others that dominate, fights its way to the surface and takes command for a time before being beaten back into the depths by the daily troops. My little random gene has held all the others at bay for two weeks – pretty good going for something that only pops up maybe once every five years or so.

The only word I can think of to describe my mood is a malaise which is a word I associate with Victorian ladies who fainted and swooned and drifted around the place in a dream. Weren’t they always sinking into a malaise at the drop of a hat? In my malaise I just feel exhausted, lifeless, have zero energy, it's an effort to walk to the kitchen to turn on the kettle let alone feed myself. I don't feel unwell in any way, I just don’t feel well.

And my mind is as decrepit as my body, can’t concentrate, I've put down two books unfinished as they were suddenly far too difficult to follow.   I even had trouble following the plot in a bodice ripper.  Thank heavens for the FIFA World Cup, at least there is something exciting to watch on telly.

I know that eventually my daily genes will regain command, I will wake up one morning and my old self will be back. My old self with or without the urge to write or take photos.  Last time when the random gene was fought off, the urge to write had gone. 

This morning I saw my daughter invite others to take part in a Facebook July Photo a Day challenge.  I will join her.  Hopefully the challenge of finding subjects for the different daily topics will get me motivated to move my bones.  I will try to post them here but, if that is too difficult (and most things feel a bit too difficult at the moment and I've been struggling with the osteo which has spread from my hips to my elbows and wrists and can make sitting here a bit painful) they will go straight on to Facebook.  

And that will hopefully take care of July.  At the beginning of August I'm going home to Brisbane for a month.  I know I will perk up then!

Today's topic is Red + White.  Photo taken out the car window today on the corner of Otaika Valley Road, while praying for patience from the logging truck driver behind me waiting to turn onto SH1.


  1. Blogs do change over the years if we keep at them long enough. I once wrote, but for a long time now, I mainly post photos.

    Your current malaise has actually led to a good post. Funny how that works.

  2. I've lost my need to tell a story from time to time, but then something happens and the ability come back. If it doesn't... I just post photos until it does.
    I lost it, in a huge way, when my goats were gone. I still feel the loss.
    Things change. We change. Life continues and sometimes what we do doesn't seem relevant. Malaise is an apt word. I understand this. It can be the weather, a loss of focus or a shift in our perception of the world around us.
    Maybe we really are just tired, Pauline. It's OK. Just put one foot in front of the other, take a picture of something beautiful and smile. It just might work until something better comes.

  3. The malaise sometimes strikes here. In my case, there's not much way out, just through, when it happens.

    May yours be gone soon.

  4. I hope the blues disappear quickly and that sunshine returns. I take a medication that sometimes leaves you with the blues. It's not very nice. sometimes we need a break from the blog.

  5. I know how you feel Pauline. I hope you wake up to find it has gone.
    Have a good month in Oz.

  6. Ahh, so I'm not completely bonkers after all - it's an errant gene at play! Thank God!
    On a serious note, I love it when you write. :)

  7. I had wanted to ask how that storm affected you.

  8. After your email I suddenly wondered when I last saw one of your posts and realised that they are not showing on my dashboard. Why? or should that be 'Why not?', I just cannot believe that it's nearly three weeks since i saw one. I shall remedy that right away.

    I've been posting less frequently as well but for different reasons. It's a funny old world Pauline.


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